calamitycougar

Tayvah wurth watchen!

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 06:55:43 GMT

From whot Ah have heard thare iz a new show coming on the tube tah watch. Finlly sumthin wurth watchen. The show iz called

Cougar Town. Ah bet it iz gowhen tah have all sorts of cougars in it. Floridah Cougars, Californyah Cougars heck even sum of them South
Merican Cougars.

See, yew don't see any shows with Sabertooth Cats in them or Foxes or Dawgs from Austrialian.

Guess whot Ah got?

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:24:21 GMT

Looks like Ah got mah Photo taken in the Newpapah!! And this time it ain't fo bein drunken and disordahly.

How bout thot?

http://www.denverpost.com/search/ci_13023828

See no photos of no dumb Sabah toothed Cats either.

FFFF Stuff

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 21:52:30 GMT

Hare Ah went and got a nice white dress and got all gussied up fo whot? Did Ah even git nominated? Hail no. See if Ah evah dress up fah yew evah agin fandom.

Ah wuz eyeing this won Blue cocktail dress but othah then thot hail no.

Tzup iz leaving on a Jet Plane, Don't know when he will be back agin

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 00:28:12 GMT

Ah iz sorry tah say thot Tzup is leaving Iowa tah fly tu San Francisco then tah fly out of the country

Ah will miss him dearly

Ah Kinnot wait till he returns

Ah ain't really sure how long he will be gone fo this time.

But Ah em shore it ain't long enough
April Fools. Mahbeh he will stay gone this time.

Mangy Mutt

Ah dun charity werk

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 03:39:59 GMT

See fo once Ah wuz not the charity cause. Ah went out and werked to slave tah halp them werse off then mahself. Ah raised ovah $200 dahlahs. Man thot is a lot of beer. Well anyway OkiedokiCoyote, Gah what a long name, he had me come tah this event. Personally Ah wood call it a Poor man's Nascar. Yep, Roller Derby. At Furst Ah thought Mark Roller wood beh thare but he must git a share of that Roller Money in a check latah on. See yew got all these women on skates all wanting tah beh the one in the lead. Now must mix this with mud wrasling and Ah wood beh thare all the time.

Anyway the money goes tah a good cause but Ah missed the thank yew fo meh at the end of the event. Crud. Well mahbeh next time.

By the way that Jaguar left his computah on and Ah got a post in on et. See them spotty cats ain't all thot smart.

Nbowa don't love me no mo

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:34:06 GMT

Ah em shure Nbowa don't luv meh no mo. In his post har: http://nbowa.livejournal.com/257036.html?view=1610508#t1610508
He is all talking bout respectin folks fo how they talk.

Now a couple of folks talk bout meh. Sew iz Nbowa talk'n bout in kinda secret way of say thot Calamity Cougah, He don't talk right Ah have
no rsepect fo him no mo?

Ah em speechless, Which Ah guess iz what folks whont.

Vakkotaur's Questshuns

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 04:36:33 GMT

Well then, keeping with the drinks theme:
Is thot a questshun? If yew wont, shure.

What's your favorite beer? Besides free, that is.
Ah them won's thot come in a keg. All right thare, yew just open it once and yew are all
set. See Beer cans yor claw fingahs git tired of opening all of them aftah a while.

What's the worst beer you've ever had?
Yew know that Schlitz stuff comes to mind but Ah have had some worse stuff then thot. Ah just
git it out of mah mind. When Ah git another won Ah will post it hare.

Would you still drink it if it was free
Man, thot is a hard question. Are folks watchen meh? It is bad form to not drink a beer. Ah
wood politely pour out or accidently knock it ovah.

Have you ever met booze you didn't like?
Oh hell yeah, That Prestone Antifreeze sure did nuthing for meh.

Besides any cost, that is?
Oh cost is a big facttor Ah have found. Them kegs just cost too much.

Is mixing whisky/scotch with ice or water a crime against booze?
Ah understand Ice. But water, Bottled water in your booze. Whot iz the point???
Due yew wont water in yor gasoline??

If someone adds some kerosene to moonshine, are trying to poison folks or just adding flavor?
We are asking bout water in the booze agin hare. Thot iz the real Alcohol abuse.

I know you like beer and hard liquor, but what do you think of wine?
If it is fermented it is fine. Fermented is fine, I'll drink some wine any time.

Questshuns, ask away

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 03:01:28 GMT

Tah keep mah mind occupied and positive thinking Ah want yew all tah ask meh sum questions. They kin't beh durty questions either. Sew git yer mind out of the gutter rite now. Now tah those thot are still reading this and not have moved down the next post ask away.

By the way, Ah don't mean durty az in Griefer in swamp water durty Ah mean nasty werds and stuff yew just should not talk about in public durty.
Did yew all see Griefer in thot pond? Thot iz how yew git a scummy mind Ah bet.

Alrighty hare, pics tah share from a while back

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 02:51:58 GMT

Ah em finally gitten round tah posten these so none of yew make any remarks thot thare ain't no snow on the ground now az Ah em sure thare iz snow on the ground sum whare in this world so it counts az being recent. Sew thare.

Mah Photographah iz Progen. Progen sounds like sum sort of medicine don't it?

Well check it out.

http://s560.photobucket.com/albums/ss45/Ntwaidimela/

Hey yew'all

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 01:01:37 GMT

Didjah all know it'z Jedd Marten's Burthday? Ah bet yew didn't Ah hope sumwon draws him all naked or painted Pink and see how he likes it.

Hmmm Knowwhen the Furry fandom they wood like thot just fine. Yew sick furs yew.

Fine, draw him all nakied but don't show off them marten parts. Ah know thot iz whot yew want tah see anyway.

Jedd Marten iz try'n tah kill meh

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 03:20:15 GMT

For those who do not know jedd_marten drew a nice drawhen of meh making a snow chair. Sounds all innocent don't it? So Ah gits mahself out and the snow (which iz still kinda new tah meh,k we ain't got this stuff in Floridah) and Ah decides Ah will make a chair like the won jedd_marten drew in the artwerk/ Furst of all seems thot his snow must hav been some sort of eazy snow tah werk with. Our Snow had ice on top of it. So it iz kinda hard tah due anything with. So Ah tried tah make some tools but that did not werk either. Ah realized how hard this wuz gowhen tah be. It wuz hard werk tah make sumthin Ah could relax in. So unless thot other Marten did all the werk ah don't think the artwerk thot he drew would beh possible. least not bah this cat.

jedd_marten if yew iz reading this next time include sum instrucshuns how tah werk in this stuff. BTW this stuff gits yew wet aftah a while.

Not a post bout FC

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 21:57:12 GMT

Ah wuz surprised at all the replies Ah got bout if folks read and undahstand whot Ah write bout hare.

Sedel asked meh wuz Ah gonna stop writing bout stuff if Ah got no replies. Well, Ah wuz thinking bout it. Writing takes up time
Time Ah could beh best used for drink'n and eating most of all looking fo a job. Heaven knows if Ah had a job Ah could go to FC.

Whoops Ah said this post wuz not bout FC and Ah kinda made it bout FC. Well, no mo talking bout thot.

Well Ah thank yew all fo respond'n Ah plan on gowhen out in the snow tahmarrow and gitten sum pictchas taken of meh.
Ah will git the Jagwar tah post them fo meh too. Ah might be handy with an engine but this computah stuff Ah kin't make no sense out of it.
Nevah mind thot hole changing yo TV tah digital stuff. Just the Gobmint wont'n tah spy on yew is all.

Hey out thare

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 04:35:14 GMT

Ah wuz jusut t wondaren how many of yew out thare actually read my werds?

Next questshun How many of yew undahstand whot Ah em saying?

Jedd Marten art werk

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 02:51:00 GMT

Hey yew all Jedd done drawn meh agin. Fo sum reason he drew with sum other Marten. Ah they iz sum kind of a squirrel (ah hope so az they iz mighty tasty. Ah em hoping this iz one of them story art werks where it goes on tah finish with a story of whot iz gowhen on hare.

So far this iz jedd_marten 's best drawhen of meh yet az it included meh with mah hat on this time. See Jedd say he ain't nevah seen meh out and about thot he saw meh in a photo with a newspaper. (now Ah don't recall this photo if sum won has seen this photo AH wood like to see it too as Ah em shore Ah ain't look'n at now newspaper for the Help wonted adds in it.) Anyway he says Ah was not wearing mah hat in that photo. Ah find thot hard tah believe. Now I did lose mah MIller Racing hat sum time ago so maybe that was when thot photo wuz taken??

Oh here iz the artwerk Send Him sum money and bah sum artwerk from him az Ah sure kin not afford tah bah thot stuff. Mah muney iz saved up for that weekend 12 pack.

http://jedd-marten.livejournal.com/62210.html?view=1397250#t1397250

Mo people post wrong stuff today. Talk'n trash about Nascar

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:24:24 GMT

Git a load of this. Talking trash about Nascar http://55seddel.livejournal.com/147631.html?view=261807#t261807

Ah see nu people

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:57:20 GMT

Mo people joined mah LJ. Well this iz how it werks. Yew tell meh why Ah should keep yew on hare and Ah will othah wize when Ah git around tu it Ah will kick you undah yo tail out of hare.

So why du yew wont meh tu keep yew?

How du yew know meh?

Heck, How due Ah know yew?

Plus any othah interesting stuff.

College boy iz maken fun of meh

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:42:41 GMT

Did yew all see this post? Did yew? Ah cannot believe how them edumahcated folks all act all bettah then yew. And he says he is a Democrat also. Look,it iz mah Gobmint money and Ah kin do with it whot Ah wont. See, http://blaireau-bougon.livejournal.com/1099719.html?view=5760455#t5760455 Yew read thot? Mistah money bags thare kin't go tah some con and he thinks he is on mah level.

Ah bet he don't know whot it is like waiting fo your gobmint check tah come in dodging the mah Snow leopardess with all her kits saying whare iz my child support, whare is mah child support. How iz a supposed tah git bah? Sure, Ah spent mah Copper recycling money on a six pack of tall boys. Don't mean thot he ought tah beh making fun of it. Right? And fo thot mattah, badjahsensei Don't thot sound like won of them
Republicon, names? Any name yew cannot say right got tah beh a Money bags name. Ain't Ah right. Look at all them sillybulls. Bah-lar-e-a-u
Bou Gon. Ah bet he is a frenchy. Won of the bad wons also. heck cept for Timduru yew gotta watch your back on of them. Heck look right thare. Easy name, Tim-du-ru Bah-lar-e-a-u Which is a bettah name. Why don't yew git a good name, an easy name like mah old friend Cuttah. Heck, short, easy tah spell tu! Or thot othah guy Mad Badgah! Heck thot name sounds cool. Give it up you Publican. Yew know yew iz on their side aftah all.

Least Ah git tah use mah cool icon

Whot sort of critter is a Bougon anyway? Ah ain't seen won as road kill so Ah don't know how they taste. Yew know with all them hospital chemicals in him he iz like eating thot Japanese Beet Ah bet. Ah bet thot iz tasty stuff.

Hey Yah All

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:29:28 GMT

Murry Christmas. Ah hope yew all git whot yew want. Beh Good tu each othah.

High Class Cat

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:23:52 GMT

Ah got tah try Samual Adams Utopia Beer. This iz a Really High Class Beer thot yew know Ah wood nevah go out and by myself. It iz like a 12% Alchol Brew. Hare iz my review Bleah. Ah mean this little bottle az nice looken az it iz cost like $200. $200!!! Thot is like 15 cases of Budwiser or mahby like 20 Schlitz cases fo those who drink thot nasty stuff.

By the way this stuff really does not taste thot good.

Dis-information

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 04:45:29 GMT

This came about originally in the Reagan Years as a way of gitting and misleading infomashun out thare. Looks like thot iz whot Wildfox haz been doing with the whole Blame Jbadger and Blame the Badger for short.

So looks like thot jbadger iz standing up fo himself. Finally.

http://jbadger.livejournal.com/183848.html?view=635432#t635432

Yew check thot out and git a ribbon from him. All thot is wrong in the fandom started wit them. Yew know it. Mahbeh except for Loriana and Aerofox all the rest of them iz just bad news. You know all the sex in the fandom seems tah have started with their numbahs growing so fast.
Well maybeh thot ain't so bad. Ah mean the sex part. But anyway them foxes, they is the worst.

LOn chair destroyen bastuds. Yew know us cougars got that hash mark just behind our muzzle. Look at them foxes dueing the same thing.
They ain't worthy of having a hash mark.

So git yo self a ribbon and let them foxes know we know they is bad news.

Wildfox Rambling and Growls or iz he a redneck Fox?

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 08:21:44 GMT

Ah em an easy going cat. Ah mean for a big cat thot iz. Ah suppose it is all the Beer and Booze Ah drink. Anyway Hare Ah em about tah complain about Wildfox agin. Personally Ah wuz willing tah lit this whole lon chair thing move on. See Ah undah stand whot Ah like and need iz not the same az everywon else. Wildfox has commented thot the whole lon chair incident of a MFF of long ago was nuthing mo then an accident. Okay, Ah em willing tah accept thot. Till Ah saw this from this last MFF. See if yew go out and hunt sumthing yew keep it's pelt or horns az a trophy of yew killing it. If yew run ovah sumthing on the road by accident yew just dew not dew thot. Unless yew iz a Redneck like meh.

Hare iz Wildfox wearing his trophy of mah lon chair he killed. Ah don't see ButtahScotch wearing nuthing like this. Griefer who sent them ovah tah meh relaxing ain't wearing no parts off mah lon chair. So thare

Look for Wildfox wearing the fine webben off my beloved chair.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/geemo88/3052295007/in/set-72157609836435120/

Look fo Wildfox's post of denial like he always does.

A song fo yew

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 06:17:23 GMT

Dough which helps me buy me beer
Ray, the guy who I buy it from
Me, the one, who I guy it for
Fa, the distance to the store
So, ill think have another beer
La, la, la, lak la, lager beer
Tea, no thanks Ill have a beer
That will brings us back to dough dough dough dough.

Thare, mah moment of Zen.

Since Ah got the basic account

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:16:49 GMT

Ah don't hav the abillity tu post photos. So Thare.

Ah wuz sooo Angree Ah forgot tah post the pitcha

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:23:40 GMT

Now Ah kint load up a photo. Gawd Ah gotta ask the stupid Jaguwar tah do it. Crud, Ah hate talking tu him cuz he writes everything down and nevah talks.

Well look at his Journal for the Dreamy cougah.

cougahs are Dreaming, Yeah right.

calamitycougar@gmail.com — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:18:00 GMT

A certain Panda Posted this http://thegreenarcher.livejournal.com/161254.html?view=426214#t426214

Due yew see a pitch of this cougah thare? No yew due not. Ah see the love hare. If you notice those are lower class cougahs with no clothing on them. The truth iz thot bear iz turned on by Naked Cougahs.

Now hear iz a dreamy Cougah, won with clothing!!!!